A Letter To My Father

Dear Heavenly Father, I need you tonight. Tomorrow is my last day at my job. My company has been restructured and my position has been eliminated (I guess you already know all of this don't you? After all, you are God!) Because I am YOUR child, I know that I can come to you with my worries, my fears, my hopes and my dreams.

I have spent 11 years at this job God, and part of me is so frightened about what lies ahead in my future. How will I provide for my two girls? Wait, YOU are my provider, aren't you? Who will calm my fears? Oh yeah, YOU are my comforter. To whom shall I look to for guidance? That's right, YOU are my Counselor.

I am a bundle of mixed emotions right now ~ I'm scared... that I won't find a job. I'm worried.... that I will lose my home. I'm unsure... about what the future holds. I'm EXCITED.... about what YOU have in store for me!! I'm PEACEFUL .... about being YOUR child!!

Thank you Father, for loving me and holding me when I am scared. AMEN.

What A Difference A Savior Makes!

I was 26 years old back in 1994 (yes, I know I’m old!) when my then husband and I separated, and soon divorced.  He decided life in Indiana with another woman would be more fun for him I guess.  My little girl was less than a year old, and my oldest child was 2 ½.  Those were some scary times!  I was going to school full time and didn’t have a job and suddenly I was a single mom of 2 babies, no income and all alone. 

As a child I grew up knowing that there was a God, but I didn’t “know” him and I certainly didn’t have a relationship with him.  In fact, all I really knew back in 1994 was that bad things were happening in my life, and surely it must have been because God (whom I didn’t know very well) hated me!  I couldn’t put food on the table for my girls, so it was God’s fault.  I couldn’t pay the electric bill, so that too was God’s fault.  One time the toilet overflowed, and surely I figured God was punishing me!  I can remember one time specifically that something went wrong in the house, (I think it was the toilet overflowing), I was so angry at God that I yelled and screamed, shaking my fists in the air, “why are you doing this to me?  Why do you hate me so much?”  If you were a fly on the wall that night, you would probably have thought I belonged in an institution!

I walked around hating the world and everyone I came in contact with. 

Fast forward to 2011.  I put my trust in God about 6 years ago, (around 2005) and this past week I was laid off from my job.  It may sound a little strange, but there truly is a sense of peace in my heart.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I am looking for a new job under every rock that I come across!  Oh, and I certainly did my fair share of crying when I was told that the position in which I held for 11 years, the job that pays the bills in my home, is now gone.  My coworker Sheri might even say that I was “slightly” hysterical when I was told the company was being “restructured” and my position has been eliminated.  Yes, hysterical is probably a good description.  But, I can honestly say that my soul is peaceful.  Do I have moments of being scared?  Yes.  But I know God has a plan for me.  Do I worry about holding onto my house?  Yes.  But I know there is a door of opportunity waiting for me.  Am I concerned about sending my daughter to college in August now that I am unemployed?  Yes.  But I know that the Lord will provide for us, some way, some how.  Am I worried about being alone through this new chapter in my life?  NO!  I have loving friends, a fabulous and supportive church family and a God who will not give me more than I can handle!

What a difference a Savior makes! 

My Girls

Keeping Your Faith After Losing Your Job

So, I lost my job this week. After 11 years with the same company, I no longer have the security of providing for my children. See, I am a single mom to 2 girls, ages 17 and 19. Yes, they are practically grown, but I still provide a roof over their head and food on the table.
So, what to do?
If this had happened to me 10 years ago, I would surely be rolled up in a ball crying on my bedroom floor asking God why he hated me so much. Why was he punishing me? But it's not 10 years ago, it's 2011 and I have been a Christ follower for about 6 years now. My faith is strong, and my trust that Christ will bring me through this is solid. I believe that although I need to do my part in searching high and low for a new position, God will surely do his part. After all, this is His plan!
I pray daily that God would open a door of opportunity for me, but I also pray daily that God would remind me that He is the one in charge here, not me.
I am actually excited to see what great things He has in store for me in the days and months and years ahead. I think it could turn out to be awesome!
But in the meantime, does anyone have a spare meal? :0)