What A Difference A Savior Makes!

I was 26 years old back in 1994 (yes, I know I’m old!) when my then husband and I separated, and soon divorced.  He decided life in Indiana with another woman would be more fun for him I guess.  My little girl was less than a year old, and my oldest child was 2 ½.  Those were some scary times!  I was going to school full time and didn’t have a job and suddenly I was a single mom of 2 babies, no income and all alone. 

As a child I grew up knowing that there was a God, but I didn’t “know” him and I certainly didn’t have a relationship with him.  In fact, all I really knew back in 1994 was that bad things were happening in my life, and surely it must have been because God (whom I didn’t know very well) hated me!  I couldn’t put food on the table for my girls, so it was God’s fault.  I couldn’t pay the electric bill, so that too was God’s fault.  One time the toilet overflowed, and surely I figured God was punishing me!  I can remember one time specifically that something went wrong in the house, (I think it was the toilet overflowing), I was so angry at God that I yelled and screamed, shaking my fists in the air, “why are you doing this to me?  Why do you hate me so much?”  If you were a fly on the wall that night, you would probably have thought I belonged in an institution!

I walked around hating the world and everyone I came in contact with. 

Fast forward to 2011.  I put my trust in God about 6 years ago, (around 2005) and this past week I was laid off from my job.  It may sound a little strange, but there truly is a sense of peace in my heart.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I am looking for a new job under every rock that I come across!  Oh, and I certainly did my fair share of crying when I was told that the position in which I held for 11 years, the job that pays the bills in my home, is now gone.  My coworker Sheri might even say that I was “slightly” hysterical when I was told the company was being “restructured” and my position has been eliminated.  Yes, hysterical is probably a good description.  But, I can honestly say that my soul is peaceful.  Do I have moments of being scared?  Yes.  But I know God has a plan for me.  Do I worry about holding onto my house?  Yes.  But I know there is a door of opportunity waiting for me.  Am I concerned about sending my daughter to college in August now that I am unemployed?  Yes.  But I know that the Lord will provide for us, some way, some how.  Am I worried about being alone through this new chapter in my life?  NO!  I have loving friends, a fabulous and supportive church family and a God who will not give me more than I can handle!

What a difference a Savior makes!