The song says it all. It's a song that brought me to tears today. It tells us specifically what we are to do, leaving nothing to question .... "Though I cannot see what lies ahead of me, I trust in your great plan. I will be still and know that you are God. I will be still and linger in your presence. For only in you, can I find hope for tomorrow. So I will be still and know that you are God." On some days, that's easier said than done, huh?
As a single mom for most of my girls' lives, (they are now 18 years old and 19 years old - wow, time flies!) it is I who has to be sure the mortgage is paid each month, that the food is on the table, the electric bill is taken care of and they have clothes to wear. I mow the lawn, cook the dinner, wash the dishes, fix the broken toilet and feed the cats. I play taxi cab driver, disciplinarian, cook, nurse, referee, friend, housekeeper and mediator. Yes, it is safe to say that I have been in complete control of everything that goes on around the house for the past 16 years or so. Or have I?
It has occured to me lately, especially since I have lost my job (the income that sustains this family of three), that I am really not in control of anything. I don't know where my next paycheck will be coming from, I don't know how much longer I can pay the mortgage, pay the electric bill, or put gas in the car. The girls and I will lose our health insurance in 30 days.
For the first time in a very long time I feel helpless, and at times, worthless. Which begs the question, where does my worth lie? Is my worth in the job I held? Is my worth in the income I brought home? Was I only worth as much as the amount of food I could buy for my girls or the clothes I was able to purchase for them? Where does my worth lie?
A wise man recently put things into perspective for me. He told me, "Your worth doesn't lie in your job, your worth lies in Christ."
That is an obvious statement to some people I am sure, but when your vision is clouded by worry and anxiety, plenty of people dont think about the obvious, and can't see what is right in front of them.
I won't lie, it is hard for me to give up the control that I "thought" I had. But in reality, God was the one in control all along, all those times I felt comfortable. I was comfortable making a paycheck, paying the mortgage, supplying my girls with what they needed. Yes, I cashed the paycheck, but wasn't it God who gave me that job in the first place? Wasn't it He who gave me the ability to provide for the girls? And now, in His wisdom, He has chosen to remove me from that position. He has chosen to humble me, and remind me how truly dependent I am on Him.
I know that I need to be still, listen, pray and trust in God's great plan, although I cannot see what lies ahead of me. It's scarey to say the least, but it is a test. Will I pass it? The controlling person in me wants to know NOW! WHEN will God provide me with a job? WHERE will God have me working? HOW MUCH will God bless me with? It's a horribly frightening time right now, but it is also a tremendous opportunity for me. An opportunity for me to grow in my relationship with Christ, for me to humble myself before Him, and for me to admit that I am truly helpless without Him. It is a time for me to realize that my worth is not in my job, or my things, or my home, or even my children. My worth is in Him!
It's a daily struggle that I face to let go of my fear and my anxiety. But I do have faith, and I do rest on the assurance that God will provide, perhaps not in my time, but in His PERFECT timing.
Dear Heavenly Father, give me the strength, the trust and the faith to look to you for my worth. Let me be still, and know that YOU are God! Amen.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Worth It Or Not?
Like most people in today's fast paced world, you are probably busier than you would like to be. Your days are more than likely filled with chauffeuring children, working a job, doing housework, cooking, yard work, running errands, etc. Trying to conquer the world and get it all done before you collapse into bed (well past your bedtime, of course) from total exhaustion! To fit something else into your busy scheduled is totally out of the question, right?
There is a world within this world that many people aren't aware of. It is a place filled with people who have been tossed aside, rejected by society, left behind for someone else to "deal with". It includes both men and women (although, mostly men), who have been shunned by the outside world for their past, for the crimes they have committed, the laws they have broken and the people they have hurt. These people have been placed in a facility that is off the beaten path, out of sight from those "productive" members of society who are going about their daily, busy lives.
Walking in the door of this facility, it is hard not to notice that it is a cold and dingy building. Nothing homey about the place at all. There are no pictures on the walls, the furniture is dorm room like, plastic and wood, with torn chairs, nothing special or fancy. There is a guard at the door to make sure nobody gets out, and nobody who doesn't belong there gets in. I sign in and my ID is taken from me while I am in the building. While in the waiting room, I notice a man walking past, he glances at me sideways, as if to say "what are you doing here?" Telling me with his demeanor that he doesn't trust me. I felt a little out of place, but not scared, I was taking it all in, and embracing the experience with an open heart.
My plan is to spend time here, a few hours a week, or more if needed. I want to get to know the inmates, and show them that not everyone in the outside world has forgotten about them. Some people in my life have asked me if I've lost my mind? My response? "As a Christian, God has called me to love. He didn't tell me to love only those people who are nice to me. He didn't tell me to love only those people who don't sin. If that were the case, then nobody would be worthy of love. God didn't tell me to only spend time with those who are like me. God has asked us to love the least of these, for it is then that we are loving God."
I begin teaching these outcasts basic computer skills. Skills that, because of their incarceration, they have either forgotten, or have never learned in the first place. Let's face it, if you don't know the basics about computers, you cant even apply for a job these days. I will also be teaching them how to write their resume. A task that will be a little tricky to say the least, given their history, but an obstacle we will overcome together.
After a while I realize that in reality, these men and women aren't that much different from myself. Yes, they have committed crimes that I havent committed, but is their sin any worse than mine in the eyes of our God? I curse, they steal. I gossip, they forge checks. I get angry, they sell drugs. Yes, they also commit arson, rape and murder. To some, these are crimes that shouldn't be forgiven. But God didnt send me to this place to judge them, He sent me to love them, listen to them, help them. In God's eyes, is my sin less than that of the inmate? Does my gossip not hurt people? Does my cursing not break God's heart just the same as their crime? It's something to think about, isn't it?
I look forward to my time that I am blessed to spend with these men and women. I look forward to hearing their stories, how they view their life. And I look forward to helping them move forward in their new lives. Are they worth my time? Well, are you worth God's time? I hope your answer is "YES!"
There is a world within this world that many people aren't aware of. It is a place filled with people who have been tossed aside, rejected by society, left behind for someone else to "deal with". It includes both men and women (although, mostly men), who have been shunned by the outside world for their past, for the crimes they have committed, the laws they have broken and the people they have hurt. These people have been placed in a facility that is off the beaten path, out of sight from those "productive" members of society who are going about their daily, busy lives.
Walking in the door of this facility, it is hard not to notice that it is a cold and dingy building. Nothing homey about the place at all. There are no pictures on the walls, the furniture is dorm room like, plastic and wood, with torn chairs, nothing special or fancy. There is a guard at the door to make sure nobody gets out, and nobody who doesn't belong there gets in. I sign in and my ID is taken from me while I am in the building. While in the waiting room, I notice a man walking past, he glances at me sideways, as if to say "what are you doing here?" Telling me with his demeanor that he doesn't trust me. I felt a little out of place, but not scared, I was taking it all in, and embracing the experience with an open heart.
My plan is to spend time here, a few hours a week, or more if needed. I want to get to know the inmates, and show them that not everyone in the outside world has forgotten about them. Some people in my life have asked me if I've lost my mind? My response? "As a Christian, God has called me to love. He didn't tell me to love only those people who are nice to me. He didn't tell me to love only those people who don't sin. If that were the case, then nobody would be worthy of love. God didn't tell me to only spend time with those who are like me. God has asked us to love the least of these, for it is then that we are loving God."
I begin teaching these outcasts basic computer skills. Skills that, because of their incarceration, they have either forgotten, or have never learned in the first place. Let's face it, if you don't know the basics about computers, you cant even apply for a job these days. I will also be teaching them how to write their resume. A task that will be a little tricky to say the least, given their history, but an obstacle we will overcome together.
After a while I realize that in reality, these men and women aren't that much different from myself. Yes, they have committed crimes that I havent committed, but is their sin any worse than mine in the eyes of our God? I curse, they steal. I gossip, they forge checks. I get angry, they sell drugs. Yes, they also commit arson, rape and murder. To some, these are crimes that shouldn't be forgiven. But God didnt send me to this place to judge them, He sent me to love them, listen to them, help them. In God's eyes, is my sin less than that of the inmate? Does my gossip not hurt people? Does my cursing not break God's heart just the same as their crime? It's something to think about, isn't it?
I look forward to my time that I am blessed to spend with these men and women. I look forward to hearing their stories, how they view their life. And I look forward to helping them move forward in their new lives. Are they worth my time? Well, are you worth God's time? I hope your answer is "YES!"
Sunday, July 3, 2011
The "Face" Of Our Future. What Is Happening To Our Youth?
Have you ever wondered what is happening to today's youth? Whether you are a parent, a grandparent or have no children at all, surely this question, and the distressing answer, has crossed your mind.
Before you get too discouraged, I want you to picture this.... 70 youth and young adults, all between the ages of 15 and 28, both males and females. For the whole summer this year they won't be hanging out with their friends. They won't be laying on the beach soaking up the sun. They won't be playing video games or vegging out in front of the television. They won't be going to parties. They won't be working part time jobs to make some extra spending money. And they won't be going on the family summer vacation. Instead, they will voluntarily give up their entire summer. They will spend 6 days a week (Monday through Saturday - even the Lord needed to rest on Sunday!) for 8 weeks, 24 hours a day with children they don't even know. The children range from 3rd graders to 12th graders. They will minister to them, walk alongside them, encourage them and mentor them. They will also play games with them, hike with them, laugh with them, cry with them, care for them in all aspects (making sure they are fed, rested, safe, etc). And of course, they will worship Christ with them.
At a beautiful retreat in the mountains of North Carolina you will find this loving, caring, few and far between devoted group of counselors. They come from all over the South East, leaving their friends and family back home to be with these children each summer. Although some are counselors for the first time this summer, most of them have been doing this for years. (Oh, and did I mention that the counselors only make about $50 a week!)
Each Monday morning the counselors prepare for a new group of children who come from as close as North Carolina, and as far as Miami, Florida and Pennsylvania. During the week they will have jam packed days of fun and fellowship. One of the week's highlights is an event called the Slop-a-roo where they get to lather each other in shaving cream from head to toe. They then proceed to jump in the lake to wash it off. It may sound a little foolish to some, but it's all part of building friendships and having fun. Each Saturday the counselors say goodbye to their kids, children who they have come to love and cherish throughout the week, but whom some of them they will keep in touch with for a lifetime. On Sunday they attend church together, do their own laundry, clean the cabins and spend a little down time before the choas begins again the next day. On Monday, they prepare to welcome another group of 200+ campers who will swarm the retreat, and who are filled with excitement and tons of energy to spare!
It can be strongly debated who comes out of this experience on the better end of the deal, the counselors or the campers? And you may ask, why in the world would a young person give up their free time, their whole summer, to be around a bunch of kids? But if you were to spend some time with these talented, giving young guys and girls (as I was able to do this weekend), the answer would be very clear ~ The love of Christ.
So the next time you wonder what the heck is happening to today's youth, don't lose heart. Think of this group and be inspired. Our future is in good hands!
Before you get too discouraged, I want you to picture this.... 70 youth and young adults, all between the ages of 15 and 28, both males and females. For the whole summer this year they won't be hanging out with their friends. They won't be laying on the beach soaking up the sun. They won't be playing video games or vegging out in front of the television. They won't be going to parties. They won't be working part time jobs to make some extra spending money. And they won't be going on the family summer vacation. Instead, they will voluntarily give up their entire summer. They will spend 6 days a week (Monday through Saturday - even the Lord needed to rest on Sunday!) for 8 weeks, 24 hours a day with children they don't even know. The children range from 3rd graders to 12th graders. They will minister to them, walk alongside them, encourage them and mentor them. They will also play games with them, hike with them, laugh with them, cry with them, care for them in all aspects (making sure they are fed, rested, safe, etc). And of course, they will worship Christ with them.
At a beautiful retreat in the mountains of North Carolina you will find this loving, caring, few and far between devoted group of counselors. They come from all over the South East, leaving their friends and family back home to be with these children each summer. Although some are counselors for the first time this summer, most of them have been doing this for years. (Oh, and did I mention that the counselors only make about $50 a week!)
Each Monday morning the counselors prepare for a new group of children who come from as close as North Carolina, and as far as Miami, Florida and Pennsylvania. During the week they will have jam packed days of fun and fellowship. One of the week's highlights is an event called the Slop-a-roo where they get to lather each other in shaving cream from head to toe. They then proceed to jump in the lake to wash it off. It may sound a little foolish to some, but it's all part of building friendships and having fun. Each Saturday the counselors say goodbye to their kids, children who they have come to love and cherish throughout the week, but whom some of them they will keep in touch with for a lifetime. On Sunday they attend church together, do their own laundry, clean the cabins and spend a little down time before the choas begins again the next day. On Monday, they prepare to welcome another group of 200+ campers who will swarm the retreat, and who are filled with excitement and tons of energy to spare!
It can be strongly debated who comes out of this experience on the better end of the deal, the counselors or the campers? And you may ask, why in the world would a young person give up their free time, their whole summer, to be around a bunch of kids? But if you were to spend some time with these talented, giving young guys and girls (as I was able to do this weekend), the answer would be very clear ~ The love of Christ.
So the next time you wonder what the heck is happening to today's youth, don't lose heart. Think of this group and be inspired. Our future is in good hands!
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
A Letter To My Father
Dear Heavenly Father, I need you tonight. Tomorrow is my last day at my job. My company has been restructured and my position has been eliminated (I guess you already know all of this don't you? After all, you are God!) Because I am YOUR child, I know that I can come to you with my worries, my fears, my hopes and my dreams.
I have spent 11 years at this job God, and part of me is so frightened about what lies ahead in my future. How will I provide for my two girls? Wait, YOU are my provider, aren't you? Who will calm my fears? Oh yeah, YOU are my comforter. To whom shall I look to for guidance? That's right, YOU are my Counselor.
I am a bundle of mixed emotions right now ~ I'm scared... that I won't find a job. I'm worried.... that I will lose my home. I'm unsure... about what the future holds. I'm EXCITED.... about what YOU have in store for me!! I'm PEACEFUL .... about being YOUR child!!
Thank you Father, for loving me and holding me when I am scared. AMEN.
I have spent 11 years at this job God, and part of me is so frightened about what lies ahead in my future. How will I provide for my two girls? Wait, YOU are my provider, aren't you? Who will calm my fears? Oh yeah, YOU are my comforter. To whom shall I look to for guidance? That's right, YOU are my Counselor.
I am a bundle of mixed emotions right now ~ I'm scared... that I won't find a job. I'm worried.... that I will lose my home. I'm unsure... about what the future holds. I'm EXCITED.... about what YOU have in store for me!! I'm PEACEFUL .... about being YOUR child!!
Thank you Father, for loving me and holding me when I am scared. AMEN.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
What A Difference A Savior Makes!
I was 26 years old back in 1994 (yes, I know I’m old!) when my then husband and I separated, and soon divorced. He decided life in Indiana
As a child I grew up knowing that there was a God, but I didn’t “know” him and I certainly didn’t have a relationship with him. In fact, all I really knew back in 1994 was that bad things were happening in my life, and surely it must have been because God (whom I didn’t know very well) hated me! I couldn’t put food on the table for my girls, so it was God’s fault. I couldn’t pay the electric bill, so that too was God’s fault. One time the toilet overflowed, and surely I figured God was punishing me! I can remember one time specifically that something went wrong in the house, (I think it was the toilet overflowing), I was so angry at God that I yelled and screamed, shaking my fists in the air, “why are you doing this to me? Why do you hate me so much?” If you were a fly on the wall that night, you would probably have thought I belonged in an institution!
As a child I grew up knowing that there was a God, but I didn’t “know” him and I certainly didn’t have a relationship with him. In fact, all I really knew back in 1994 was that bad things were happening in my life, and surely it must have been because God (whom I didn’t know very well) hated me! I couldn’t put food on the table for my girls, so it was God’s fault. I couldn’t pay the electric bill, so that too was God’s fault. One time the toilet overflowed, and surely I figured God was punishing me! I can remember one time specifically that something went wrong in the house, (I think it was the toilet overflowing), I was so angry at God that I yelled and screamed, shaking my fists in the air, “why are you doing this to me? Why do you hate me so much?” If you were a fly on the wall that night, you would probably have thought I belonged in an institution!
I walked around hating the world and everyone I came in contact with.
Fast forward to 2011. I put my trust in God about 6 years ago, (around 2005) and this past week I was laid off from my job. It may sound a little strange, but there truly is a sense of peace in my heart. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am looking for a new job under every rock that I come across! Oh, and I certainly did my fair share of crying when I was told that the position in which I held for 11 years, the job that pays the bills in my home, is now gone. My coworker Sheri might even say that I was “slightly” hysterical when I was told the company was being “restructured” and my position has been eliminated. Yes, hysterical is probably a good description. But, I can honestly say that my soul is peaceful. Do I have moments of being scared? Yes. But I know God has a plan for me. Do I worry about holding onto my house? Yes. But I know there is a door of opportunity waiting for me. Am I concerned about sending my daughter to college in August now that I am unemployed? Yes. But I know that the Lord will provide for us, some way, some how. Am I worried about being alone through this new chapter in my life? NO! I have loving friends, a fabulous and supportive church family and a God who will not give me more than I can handle!
What a difference a Savior makes!
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Keeping Your Faith After Losing Your Job
So, I lost my job this week. After 11 years with the same company, I no longer have the security of providing for my children. See, I am a single mom to 2 girls, ages 17 and 19. Yes, they are practically grown, but I still provide a roof over their head and food on the table.
So, what to do?
If this had happened to me 10 years ago, I would surely be rolled up in a ball crying on my bedroom floor asking God why he hated me so much. Why was he punishing me? But it's not 10 years ago, it's 2011 and I have been a Christ follower for about 6 years now. My faith is strong, and my trust that Christ will bring me through this is solid. I believe that although I need to do my part in searching high and low for a new position, God will surely do his part. After all, this is His plan!
I pray daily that God would open a door of opportunity for me, but I also pray daily that God would remind me that He is the one in charge here, not me.
I am actually excited to see what great things He has in store for me in the days and months and years ahead. I think it could turn out to be awesome!
But in the meantime, does anyone have a spare meal? :0)
So, what to do?
If this had happened to me 10 years ago, I would surely be rolled up in a ball crying on my bedroom floor asking God why he hated me so much. Why was he punishing me? But it's not 10 years ago, it's 2011 and I have been a Christ follower for about 6 years now. My faith is strong, and my trust that Christ will bring me through this is solid. I believe that although I need to do my part in searching high and low for a new position, God will surely do his part. After all, this is His plan!
I pray daily that God would open a door of opportunity for me, but I also pray daily that God would remind me that He is the one in charge here, not me.
I am actually excited to see what great things He has in store for me in the days and months and years ahead. I think it could turn out to be awesome!
But in the meantime, does anyone have a spare meal? :0)
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